1. First things first. Dubstep. If I wanted to listen to someone with Irritable Bowel Syndrome take a shit I FUCKING WOULD. Some young Dubstep artists are actually known to stick a crushed can behind the back wheel of their bike. P.s I didn’t know an audio sound could be “dirty”.
2. Pretend drunks. Holy shit. There should be a special place in Hell for these bastards. You’re standing talking to a group of people in a club / party and suddenly, some sober guy comes over seemingly just to annoy the shit out of you. Especially the ones who are really rowdy and pushing you around. Seriously, last time this happened to me I literally cried a single tear. A tear that was a mixture of annoyance, bacon, loathing and an ounce of sorrow for what humanity had became. They never even get the balance right. There’s a standard level of drunkenness, then there’s the pretend drunk who is either a) Pretending or b) Is under the influence of enough ether to kill a rhino.
3. The absence of toilet roll. That will be all.
4. Having a sense of responsibility. Please tell me why I would want to be needed when I can get up at 2pm, sit around in my underpants all day and watch Dora the Explorer?
5. People that blog. Yeah I saved the worst for last. Total assholes, all of them.
P.S. Jokes on you, Dora isn’t on that late.